"Your faith will get you to where you want to be."

That was said you me in a blessing I received from my Father and Brother Howlett while I was in the hospital back in May... The prayer also said "You will be able to do what you have already planned".

A lot of you don't know what I'm talking about, about why... It was the week I gained a testimony of Fasting and Prayer.

May 20th, 2008 I woke up at 2:45am with excruciating pain in my left side. I couldn't breathe, nor could I walk. Not being able to breathe I couldn't yell for help. I ended up crawling to my parents bedroom door, and decided not to disturb them. I ended up crawling down the stairs and lied on a couch until about 3:15 where I then yelled at loudly as I could, which only came out at me speaking normally. I received a blessing, and we got the prompting to take me to the ER, that this was no regular side pain. I ended up in the ER at 4:15 where I would randomly start convulsing, and would have to throw up before I'd calm down. At 4:30 they had an IV in me pumping morphine through my system. By 5:15 they had cleared schedules to get me in to get a cat scan. At 5:45 they came in (urgently enough to wake me up from my drugged up slumber) to tell us that I had a fluid filled cyst the size of a grapefruit under my left kidney, and that if they didn't do surgery soon enough, It might burst which would've resulted in having kidney failure. By 6:45 I was breathing in Anesthesia, and remember the distinct ringing in my ears as I heard the nurse say "Just breathe... just breathe.." And as I drifted off, I heard the doctor come in and say "Is she down yet?" In which I closed my eyes and reminisced in the familiar smell and feel of being put under... for the 8th time in the past 3 years.

I remember waking up, and hearing my mom say "We're going to the cafeteria." I didn't open my eyes, but I then felt the nurse mess with the IV in my arm. I then drifted off... I figured out later when I finally woke up all the way that I had woken up at 10:30 to hear my parents say that, but got out of surgery at 8:15. I stayed asleep until 2:45 where they then took me into my room. I found out later that I would have to stay in the hospital for a week. Here was the problem, It was Tuesday, but I was leaving on Saturday to go to Utah, for EFY. And I was going to EFY, no matter what. I told my doctor "I'm getting out on Saturday" he laughed at me, and said "I don't think so... and you're definitely not traveling." so Wednesday we get news from the Operating doctor, Dr.Pinto, that they were going to have to place a drain in my side, to put into the cyst so it could drain. Mari was a trooper and was there every day. I then gave into the reality and said "Can you call Thomas and Jessica and tell them I'm not going to EFY?" She asked if I wanted to call and tell them.. And right then the tears welled up in my eyes and said "No." She called and told Thomas, who told Jessica. That... that was hard. Then Brandon and Brother Howlett came and visited that evening, along with my siblings and dad. My mom, of course, was with me the whole time I was in the hospital. I then asked Mari to re-call Thomas and Jessica and ask them to pray and fast for me, which she didn't hesitate in doing. I then had my Father and Brother Howlett give me that blessing. And I knew after that blessing, that everything would be alright. Thursday, I waited... Prayed.. and waited. Friday, I had the drain placed in my side, which then drained the thing COMPLETELY by that evening. Dr.Pugach (My doctor since I've been 12), came in and said "You're not allowed to go anywhere. I'll send you home, but you'll have the drain in, and a nurse will come see you." And I said "No, I'm going home tomorrow." He then looked at me and said "Ha... No. You're not. You won't be well enough to go anywhere, so this vacation is out of the question, I'm sorry." I then said to myself "I'm going to EFY." Saturday he said there was no way I was going to be leaving. Friday night I had the IV taken out, as I was able to drink, and eat on my own... Mari called me on Saturday and said "We got us flights to Utah, for tomorrow night at 6:15PM." and she asked "So, you're going to get out by tomorrow, right?" and I asked "I don't know.. why?" And she said "Just wondering.." I ended the conversation, and I was told that Mari had sent a mass text to everyone in her phone book, and asked them to pray and fast on Thursday, for me. Elijah Vandergriff, my then really good friend, also fasted and prayed, and sent a mass text to all of his friends... I found out, and all of a sudden I knew I was going. I knew it. And my mom said "You probably won't go.." And I refused to believe it, and said "Yes, I will. You just watch and see." Sunday Morning came around and Dr.Pugach was off duty. So Dr. Leslie McQuiston came in, and said "She can have the drained pulled out.. She'll be fine." And asked that I not be too active on vacation. She advised I not go at all, but I did. I got out of the hospital at 10:30am, and was on an airplane at 6:15. I had had surgery 2 days before, but I wouldn't let that stop me. So, I went to Utah because I'm stubborn, and I love to prove people wrong, especially when it comes to proving the truthfulness of faith.

The first day, I found out I wasn't rooming with Jessica, OR Mari.. but that they were put in the same Company, as I was put in a completely different one. It really seemed my faith was in vain. But I went on... I walked about 8 miles the first day, but refused to ride in a wheelchair. Because I believed that if saints could cross the plains day after day, and live... I could live too. The first day, I got along well with a few people. But not many.. I was still bitter. I made sure Mari wouldn't tell Thomas or Jessica I was going to EFY.. They thought I was still in the hospital. I walked into Jessica's dorm and said "Jessica!" And I remember the look on her face when she saw me.. And I knew I was suppose to be there. After dinner, I went to look for Thomas... When I saw him, I yelled "Thomas!" And I remember the look on his face as he said "You're suppose to be in the hospital!" The 3 best hugs I had at EFY, were the the hugs I gave David, Thomas, and Jessica. Day two, I was starting to love my Company.. they seemed pretty cool. By Wednesday, I was defying all of the Doctors and my parents rules, and I was actually RACING Ryan (One of the Counselors) and another down the field during game night. After game night, I was.. well... Me. I was hyper, insane, and singing as loudly and obnoxiously as possible with the other girls in my company. They then said "You need to calm down.." In which I did. I then became tired, and was ready to go to bed, not have Pizza. But they all insisted I stay for Pizza, so I did. It was a fun night, aside from me being killer tired. Thursday was amazing, as it was testimony night... I because really close with all the girls, especially Melissa Lunt and Eden Kreps. I still have the connection with all the girls in my company, and I know why I was to go through the trials I did.. And I'm glad I passed the test.

The past 2 months I've been struggling to find that faith again, to gain that knowledge of truth, To KNOW that I know.