Strength Beyond My Own - Various Authors and Composers
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Finding joy in the journey
In times of trial one asks "Why me?" Why would someone like yourself be put into such situations? Especially situations that you started, but didn't intend the outcome it had? We also ask "Why?" Why would those around you react as such, when you know a different side of them? I once heard a quote that said "Only a big change will tell you who your real friends and family are". But doesn't that go for the one who started it all, too? There have been many situations where the one causing the problem thought that the only people who needed to truly apologize, were everyone else. But in many instances, it's the person who sees only them self as the person who needs to apologize. Trials are sticky situations provided by the Lord. So why are we so hurt? Don't we know that as long as we keep a smile in our heart, and a laugh on our tongue, that nothing can stop us from getting to where we want to be? Finding joy in journey's that have done much harm on both sides, really is worth mentioning. I've figured out that those who truly love their friends will put themselves in a situation that was never theirs to begin with. I also figured out that those who are truly your best friend, won't feel the need to put themselves in the situation, as they are too busy trying to make you forget the past and encouraging you to move on. With them being the one leading you into it.
I'm finding joy in all of this, the journey's... all of it. Jared's going to get a kick in the booty for bugging me on the phone last night, but will surely get a hug for letting me not only yell at him, but for giving me advice. He's an amazing young man, who has this keen talent to be trusted with that which we refuse to tell anyone else.
I think that most people feel that they need to be upset for anything to mean something... For there to be a lesson learned. That's how I felt yesterday... All day. It's not the pain, guilt and sorrow you feel that teaches the lesson, but the light that lifts you up to show you that even through all of it, you can still make it and be happy. Don't ever feel that someone HAS to, or NEEDS to be held onto long for it to mean anything. I think that in the situation where trials effect everyone, it is no longer one's fault when one has sincerely apologized, and asked for forgiveness in return. But it is one's fault when you choose to be unhappy. "...be miserable like unto himself." Finding joy, is seeing what you lacked in the beginning that has made you want to become better.
My brothers and sisters, there is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today.-- Thomas S. Monson
“As I have loved you, . . . love one another.” -- John 13:34
Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings. -- Thomas S. Monson
God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face.-- Jeffrey R. Holland
Our testimonies have been strengthened. I believe we are all the more determined to live the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. -- Thomas S. Monson
"Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it."
A best friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.
A true friend is someone you can disagree with and still remain friends.If not, they weren’t true friends in the first place.
A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked.
Find Joy in the Journey, and love one another... The fault is passed when it's no longer your fault for another one's unhappiness. When they make the choice that they are still unhappy.
When your dreams are only a sunset, set in the western skies; Remember it's a sunrise, in someone elses eyes.
I'm finding joy in all of this, the journey's... all of it. Jared's going to get a kick in the booty for bugging me on the phone last night, but will surely get a hug for letting me not only yell at him, but for giving me advice. He's an amazing young man, who has this keen talent to be trusted with that which we refuse to tell anyone else.
Its a great thing to be proud. You should be. You should hold your pretty head high and keep those dazzling eyes of yours forward. But not so much that you can’t hang your head low and say your sorry with a tear in your eye when you should.
I think that most people feel that they need to be upset for anything to mean something... For there to be a lesson learned. That's how I felt yesterday... All day. It's not the pain, guilt and sorrow you feel that teaches the lesson, but the light that lifts you up to show you that even through all of it, you can still make it and be happy. Don't ever feel that someone HAS to, or NEEDS to be held onto long for it to mean anything. I think that in the situation where trials effect everyone, it is no longer one's fault when one has sincerely apologized, and asked for forgiveness in return. But it is one's fault when you choose to be unhappy. "...be miserable like unto himself." Finding joy, is seeing what you lacked in the beginning that has made you want to become better.
My brothers and sisters, there is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today.-- Thomas S. Monson
“As I have loved you, . . . love one another.” -- John 13:34
Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings. -- Thomas S. Monson
God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face.-- Jeffrey R. Holland
Our testimonies have been strengthened. I believe we are all the more determined to live the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. -- Thomas S. Monson
"Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it."
A best friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.
A true friend is someone you can disagree with and still remain friends.If not, they weren’t true friends in the first place.
A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked.
Friends are worth living for.
Even in times of trial.
Find Joy in the Journey, and love one another... The fault is passed when it's no longer your fault for another one's unhappiness. When they make the choice that they are still unhappy.
When your dreams are only a sunset, set in the western skies; Remember it's a sunrise, in someone elses eyes.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Come what may, and love it.
I've probably done the biggest regrets, in the past 24 hours than I EVER have.
I was told a certain spirit -- one of evil-- loved to stay in my room. The source who told me was someone who I trust, and is probably one of the most spiritual people I know. This person told me that they heard this spirit, Aaron, speaking ill. He just kept going on, and was trying to convince of the devaluation to those around him, and namely me. I was told by this person that he, the spirit, loves to just spew words of disguting, degrading manner. And this person told me that if I ever felt like I was worth nothing, or my friends weren't good, or I felt like they weren't much to me, to tell Aaron to go away. I didn't realize until I woke up this morning, and had the SAME, disgusting, putrid thoughts go through my head, that I was being taunted by this spirit. I turned while putting my hair in a ponytail and said "Aaron, go wallow in your misery, but do it outside of my room. You are not welcome here." I then broke down from guilt, grief, and sorrow... and just cried for a few minutes. When I got to work I got there 30 minutes early. I took a 24 pack of cans of beer, and sat on in, and read my Book of Mormon, until I had to clock in. And that sustained my emotions from overflowing, by giving me a boost to make it through out the day.
While at work I thought of each person who I had hurt severely yesterday. I thought of different scenarios as to how this will all turn out to be... And I'd like to share them.
Mari:
#1. I go to her house, tell her I'm sorry, but of course.. sob the whole time... And she would step away from me, and say "I'm sorry, but it's going to take some time."
#2. I ask Mari to come over to help with a gift for someone, and then say sorry. She would give me a hug and tell me she still loves me.
Jessica:
#1. Call her and, of course I'd be crying.. like I have been 75% of today.. And have her hang up on me.
#2. Get on IM, tell her how truly, and deeply sorry I am, and have her say "I still love you. But it's going to take some time to forgive you... But I do love you."
Sis.Trotter:
#1. Call her and apologize, and have her yell whatever she'd like at me, and I'd accept and feel that I do deserve such things.
#2. Go to Arkansas within the next few weeks, go to Sis.Trotters, ask her to hear me out, and to go on a walk with me, where I'd pour out my grief, and sorrow, and shame... I'd apologize and I'd be able to be at least welcome to their home.
Sis.Scott:
#1.Call her and tell her how truly sorry I am, and seek for any (If she's willing to share) advice from her as to what I should do though I have hurt her, and her family. I reckoned she'd be Sis.Scott, and give me a few words of advice, along with a few words of honesty about how horrid it was of me to do such things.
#2. Go to Arkansas within the next few weeks, and have her and Jessica go on a walk with me... half way on the walk, I'd ask to just have Jessica to talk to, and have Sis.Scott return, where I'd later thank her graciously.
Heather:
#1. Call her phone, and speak to her personally, hear her side of the story, tell my side, and express my aching pain, and sorrow and overwhelming guilt for being so selfish, and ask her forgiveness... She'd hang up on me, but would have at least listened.
#2. Go up to Arkansas, and tell her personally, I'm sorry. She'd be understanding, but tell me that it'll take some time. But that she still loves me.
David:
#1. IM him on facebook, and hear his opinion, I'd tell him what I thought, but I'd try to listen to the wisdom he seems to be overflowing with. He'd be angry, and might get offline... but at least he'd talk to me.
#2. Go to Arkansas ASAP, and personally pour out my soul to him, of everything I'm sorry for towards him, where he'd then say "You still have much to learn"... But he'd also tell me he loves me still.
The difference between each one had my doubt, and guilt running hay-wire... Needless to say, I was very busy, and got much accomplished at work today, because I had so much on my mind.
I realize how stupid I am, and that I am going to have to change to gain these wonderful people's trust, and love back... And I'm going to. I promise you I will. I also wrote each person a personal letter today. I plan to mail them in hope that it'll do some good... As I feel I'll never be welcome in the Ozark/Clarksville area, again.
I love them all very much, and actually made a video about EACH of them the other day... And.. I can tell that Aaron worked hard with me, because I had this overwhelming coat of gratitude for them, just Sunday.
I hope they can love and forgive me again, but until then... Come what may... And I will love it. For I know that this experience will teach me much, and will help me grow to become better.
Thank you David and Mari for talking with me, and helping me see so much... Thank you. I love you all, and I can only say that I'd have to be possessed with the darkest of words to ever say such as that... I will be stronger, and I will be better. I will never, and I promise you, never say something like that again. And I will never hurt you, purposefully, like this, ever again. Thank you for giving me the time I've already had, to be so close, and to have you as such wonderful friends, and guidance's... You are all wonderful examples, and I'm sorry I couldn't be as much back to you. One day I promise I will be better, and I will make it up to you, what you have been, and done for me.
I will always be here, no matter what trials may come... I will press forward and have faith that I will get to where I want to be. And need to be. There is no trial too hard, that could shake the very grounds of Zion our friendship as a gang has been built upon. Though I may be at one end for now, with you at the other... We are still in the same place.
I love you all. Jessica, I love you. And I am so sorry. Mari, I love you. And I'm sorry. Sis.Trotter, I do love, and look up to you. And I am truly, thoroughly sorry. Sis.Scott, I love you! And I am so sorry about all of this. Heather, I really do love you. And I'm sorry I've hurt you. David, I am SO so sorry. And I love you so dearly, and always will.
If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness. --Joseph B. Wirthlin
But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.-- Joseph B. Wirthlin
Unity
As we consider the unity required for Zion to flourish, we should ask ourselves if we have overcome jarrings, contentions, envyings, and strifes (see D&C 101:6). Are we individually and as a people free from strife and contention and united "according to the union required by the law of the celestial kingdom"? (D&C 105:4). Forgiveness of one another is essential to this unity. Jesus said, "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10).
We will become of one heart and one mind as we individually place the Savior at the center of our lives and follow those He has commissioned to lead us. We can unite with President Thomas S. Monson in love and concern for one another. In general conference last April, President Monson spoke to those estranged from the Church and to all of us when he said: "In the private sanctuary of one's own conscience lies that spirit, that determination to cast off the old person and to measure up to the stature of true potential. In this spirit, we again issue that heartfelt invitation: Come back. We reach out to you in the pure love of Christ and express our desire to assist you and to welcome you into full fellowship. To those who are wounded in spirit or who are struggling and fearful, we say, Let us lift you and cheer you and calm your fears" ("Looking Back and Moving Forward," Liahona and Ensign, May 2008, 90).
At the end of July this year, young single adults from several countries in eastern Europe gathered outside Budapest, Hungary, for a conference. Among this group were 20 young men and women from Moldova who had spent days obtaining passports and visas and over 30 hours traveling by bus to get there. The conference program included some 15 workshops. Each person needed to select the two or three that he or she most wanted to attend. Rather than focus exclusively on their own interests, these Moldovan young adults got together and made plans so that at least one of their group would be in each class and take copious notes. Then they would share what they had learned with each other and later with the young adults in Moldova who could not attend. In its simplest form, this exemplifies the unity and love for one another that, multiplied thousands of times in different ways, will "bring again Zion" (Isaiah 52:8).
I was told a certain spirit -- one of evil-- loved to stay in my room. The source who told me was someone who I trust, and is probably one of the most spiritual people I know. This person told me that they heard this spirit, Aaron, speaking ill. He just kept going on, and was trying to convince of the devaluation to those around him, and namely me. I was told by this person that he, the spirit, loves to just spew words of disguting, degrading manner. And this person told me that if I ever felt like I was worth nothing, or my friends weren't good, or I felt like they weren't much to me, to tell Aaron to go away. I didn't realize until I woke up this morning, and had the SAME, disgusting, putrid thoughts go through my head, that I was being taunted by this spirit. I turned while putting my hair in a ponytail and said "Aaron, go wallow in your misery, but do it outside of my room. You are not welcome here." I then broke down from guilt, grief, and sorrow... and just cried for a few minutes. When I got to work I got there 30 minutes early. I took a 24 pack of cans of beer, and sat on in, and read my Book of Mormon, until I had to clock in. And that sustained my emotions from overflowing, by giving me a boost to make it through out the day.
While at work I thought of each person who I had hurt severely yesterday. I thought of different scenarios as to how this will all turn out to be... And I'd like to share them.
Mari:
#1. I go to her house, tell her I'm sorry, but of course.. sob the whole time... And she would step away from me, and say "I'm sorry, but it's going to take some time."
#2. I ask Mari to come over to help with a gift for someone, and then say sorry. She would give me a hug and tell me she still loves me.
Jessica:
#1. Call her and, of course I'd be crying.. like I have been 75% of today.. And have her hang up on me.
#2. Get on IM, tell her how truly, and deeply sorry I am, and have her say "I still love you. But it's going to take some time to forgive you... But I do love you."
Sis.Trotter:
#1. Call her and apologize, and have her yell whatever she'd like at me, and I'd accept and feel that I do deserve such things.
#2. Go to Arkansas within the next few weeks, go to Sis.Trotters, ask her to hear me out, and to go on a walk with me, where I'd pour out my grief, and sorrow, and shame... I'd apologize and I'd be able to be at least welcome to their home.
Sis.Scott:
#1.Call her and tell her how truly sorry I am, and seek for any (If she's willing to share) advice from her as to what I should do though I have hurt her, and her family. I reckoned she'd be Sis.Scott, and give me a few words of advice, along with a few words of honesty about how horrid it was of me to do such things.
#2. Go to Arkansas within the next few weeks, and have her and Jessica go on a walk with me... half way on the walk, I'd ask to just have Jessica to talk to, and have Sis.Scott return, where I'd later thank her graciously.
Heather:
#1. Call her phone, and speak to her personally, hear her side of the story, tell my side, and express my aching pain, and sorrow and overwhelming guilt for being so selfish, and ask her forgiveness... She'd hang up on me, but would have at least listened.
#2. Go up to Arkansas, and tell her personally, I'm sorry. She'd be understanding, but tell me that it'll take some time. But that she still loves me.
David:
#1. IM him on facebook, and hear his opinion, I'd tell him what I thought, but I'd try to listen to the wisdom he seems to be overflowing with. He'd be angry, and might get offline... but at least he'd talk to me.
#2. Go to Arkansas ASAP, and personally pour out my soul to him, of everything I'm sorry for towards him, where he'd then say "You still have much to learn"... But he'd also tell me he loves me still.
The difference between each one had my doubt, and guilt running hay-wire... Needless to say, I was very busy, and got much accomplished at work today, because I had so much on my mind.
I realize how stupid I am, and that I am going to have to change to gain these wonderful people's trust, and love back... And I'm going to. I promise you I will. I also wrote each person a personal letter today. I plan to mail them in hope that it'll do some good... As I feel I'll never be welcome in the Ozark/Clarksville area, again.
I love them all very much, and actually made a video about EACH of them the other day... And.. I can tell that Aaron worked hard with me, because I had this overwhelming coat of gratitude for them, just Sunday.
I hope they can love and forgive me again, but until then... Come what may... And I will love it. For I know that this experience will teach me much, and will help me grow to become better.
Thank you David and Mari for talking with me, and helping me see so much... Thank you. I love you all, and I can only say that I'd have to be possessed with the darkest of words to ever say such as that... I will be stronger, and I will be better. I will never, and I promise you, never say something like that again. And I will never hurt you, purposefully, like this, ever again. Thank you for giving me the time I've already had, to be so close, and to have you as such wonderful friends, and guidance's... You are all wonderful examples, and I'm sorry I couldn't be as much back to you. One day I promise I will be better, and I will make it up to you, what you have been, and done for me.
I will always be here, no matter what trials may come... I will press forward and have faith that I will get to where I want to be. And need to be. There is no trial too hard, that could shake the very grounds of Zion our friendship as a gang has been built upon. Though I may be at one end for now, with you at the other... We are still in the same place.
I love you all. Jessica, I love you. And I am so sorry. Mari, I love you. And I'm sorry. Sis.Trotter, I do love, and look up to you. And I am truly, thoroughly sorry. Sis.Scott, I love you! And I am so sorry about all of this. Heather, I really do love you. And I'm sorry I've hurt you. David, I am SO so sorry. And I love you so dearly, and always will.
If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness. --Joseph B. Wirthlin
But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.-- Joseph B. Wirthlin
Unity
As we consider the unity required for Zion to flourish, we should ask ourselves if we have overcome jarrings, contentions, envyings, and strifes (see D&C 101:6). Are we individually and as a people free from strife and contention and united "according to the union required by the law of the celestial kingdom"? (D&C 105:4). Forgiveness of one another is essential to this unity. Jesus said, "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10).
We will become of one heart and one mind as we individually place the Savior at the center of our lives and follow those He has commissioned to lead us. We can unite with President Thomas S. Monson in love and concern for one another. In general conference last April, President Monson spoke to those estranged from the Church and to all of us when he said: "In the private sanctuary of one's own conscience lies that spirit, that determination to cast off the old person and to measure up to the stature of true potential. In this spirit, we again issue that heartfelt invitation: Come back. We reach out to you in the pure love of Christ and express our desire to assist you and to welcome you into full fellowship. To those who are wounded in spirit or who are struggling and fearful, we say, Let us lift you and cheer you and calm your fears" ("Looking Back and Moving Forward," Liahona and Ensign, May 2008, 90).
At the end of July this year, young single adults from several countries in eastern Europe gathered outside Budapest, Hungary, for a conference. Among this group were 20 young men and women from Moldova who had spent days obtaining passports and visas and over 30 hours traveling by bus to get there. The conference program included some 15 workshops. Each person needed to select the two or three that he or she most wanted to attend. Rather than focus exclusively on their own interests, these Moldovan young adults got together and made plans so that at least one of their group would be in each class and take copious notes. Then they would share what they had learned with each other and later with the young adults in Moldova who could not attend. In its simplest form, this exemplifies the unity and love for one another that, multiplied thousands of times in different ways, will "bring again Zion" (Isaiah 52:8).
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Untitled
Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Blithe smile, lithe limb rubish
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl:
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl
I'm through accepting limits
'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down
Lover of Ashes
Oh lover of ashes
Be patient with me
My filthy complexion is all that I see
But up from these ashes a beauty will rise
The pride of her father
Though humble in size
Small
I don’t want to make you small
I don’t want to fit you in my pocket
A cross around my throat
You are brighter than the sun
You’re closer than the tiny thoughts I have of you
But I could never fathom you at all
Back Home
Don’t let your eyes get used to darkness
The light is coming soon
Don’t let your heart get used to sadness
Put your hope in what is true
No matter how the wind may blow
It cannot shake the sun
Lay your sorrows on the ground
It’s time to come back home
When the future seems uncertain
Like the coming of a storm
Your loving Father carries his children
When they can’t walk anymore
No matter how the wind may blow
It cannot shake the sun
Lay your sorrows on the ground
It’s time to come back home
Oh, back home…
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Political stuff (You saw it coming!)
I'm quite a political person, many know this, and many think I'm an idiot, or immature because of it. But I voted, so I have the dadgum right to have my own opinion, AND state it.
It's sad that so many people praise Obama who has done nothing for this country, AT ALL, and yet... they spit on Bush, the man who has kept us safe for 7 years.
What is WRONG with you?
You think that having Obama as President, your problems are going to go away. And your life is going to change.
They're not. YOU make the choice. YOU change your life.
And I seriously question the value of a President whose followers aren't even honorable enough to respect President Bush. Every President has their faults. That does NOT mean you need to tear them down. That is called being judgmental.
When you have billions of people yelling "F*** YOU BUSH!" You seriously question their intelligence level.
Here's one of the STUPIDEST reasons I've heard for voting for him: Because he's BLACK.
Just so EVERYONE KNOWS... there was a Black Republican (Who was.. 100% black, not just 25% black) and no one gave him a dadgum second glance. Ignorance seems to run high in Obama's followers. Your ancestors wouldn't be proud, because you know NOTHING about his policies or what he supports... do you?
22 For in those days there shall also arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders, insomuch, that, if possible, they shall deceive the very elect, who are the elect according to the covenant.
23 Behold, I speak these things unto you for the elect’s sake; and you also shall hear of wars, and rumors of wars; see that ye be not troubled, for all I have told you must come to pass; but the end is not yet.
Joseph Smith--Matthew 1:22-23
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
"You can't worry about what you don't know"
You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.
Things are falling into place, where I thought there wasn't a place to fall into. I'm on the road to knowing with my heart, what I know with my head. I'm getting my Patriarchal Blessing on Sunday, February 1st.. at 10AM.. Before church. I am so excited. I am so happy. I am finally completely happy with my life, and with everything in it. I'm also completely content with knowing that it is going to take time to learn a few lessons, and it makes me completely happy.
It is one thing to always see the good change in others, but it takes a great deal of selflessness to see the good change in oneself, and recognize it. --N.May
It's so hard to let ourselves be.. happy. To finally realize that we are worth it. That we do deserve as much happiness as those around us... It takes time, sacrifice, and pure intent to truly accomplish and achieve that which is truly important.
I love to know that I am a daughter of a Heavenly King. I can't wait to learn, and know with my heart, that I am such.
I am finally happy... Truly happy. I am 100% Natalia. I won't let the temptations of those trying to convince me I'm not worth it, win. This is a fight I will battle... Because I want to make Him proud. Don't you?
I can't wait to roam the meadows, and just talk to Him. To be able to make up for lost time... It'll be so nice to see his face. To have him near, and realize that really, it's was ok to let go of Him while I was still on earth. I miss him to much, and I know my family would have been so very different if he were here. But he's not, and was taken to live with Heavenly Father, for a reason. I love him to no end, anyhow.
In 10 years, I am going to be just this happy, if not happier. And I can't wait to write a blog and say that I am right.
Be happy, all of you... find comfort in knowing that there is more to this than we know. And He loves you so abundantly! You don't even realize... The Scriptures are true, and so is the power of fast and prayer.
I love you all! I really, truly mean it.
"Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God D&C 121:45.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Heaven bend to take my hand
Have you ever reached the cross road where you realize that there's not much you can do when it comes to those around you?
I'm no stranger to you.
I'm no different than I was when I first met you.
I'm not trying to make things difficult.
Your happiness is key in all of my daily doings.
Your comfort in being able to talk to me, is what I look forward to.
Your way of being able to connect with me is why I live.
Your way of life is quite the life to live.
I don't know who YOU are.. But I'm hoping you can all take a little from that and know that it's about you.
I dislike controlling people. People who ask me to do something, and then I do it, but they don't do it in return... Those are the type of people who I call pushovers. The people who intentionally are hypocrites. Complaining hypocrites.
I love to listen to music, and realize how much of it actually applies to my life. And not only that, but realize that there are millions out there who relate to that song, and to me. I'm so very anxious to figure this out. To help along the way, those who need that help. I am so very, very anxious to be a great friend to those around me. It is absolutely amazing to think about, really!
I can be a bi-polar thinker and/or person. But you have to know me well enough for me to not keep up the facade of being THEE NATALIA every knows and loves... It takes a lot for me to let people in on that facade too. If that makes ANY sense.
Happiness and joy is the design of your existence. Don't you ever feel like you deserve to be miserable.
2 Ne. 2: 27
27 Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
Find happiness in all things. For our Lord and Savior blesses us every day. It's just your job to see what he's blessed you with.
Have Faith that you can make it. If you're not sure what Faith is, or if you are able to acquire it.. Then live like you believe. If you live long enough believing, you'll figure it out, and will be able to live with it in your life. Find Faith, Have Hope, and Contribute Charity.
Alma 32: 21
21 And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.
And to end, I have a few quotes that I read, and I thought specifically of people I know.
When ending a day you should never say “I could have”, “I should have”, or “I would have”. At the end of the day you should always say “I did”. -- Heather
Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.--David Andrew
Things turn out the best, for the people who make the best of the way things turn out. -- Jessica
Many say I am just one to try. I say I am one less to quit. - Diego Marchi -- Mari
If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.-Thomas
When your mind says give up, hope whispers "one more try." -- Robert
If God gave us all good days, how would we learn from our mistakes? -- Brenton
The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness, also keep out the joy. -- Arielle
“Accept that you have lost, but never accept that you have failed” -- Greg
Friday, January 16, 2009
Loving the life I live
I lately have had this insane overwhelming hit of old habits. It led to a few late night conversations, that were more like complaining on my behalf, to those dearest to me. I just want to start out and say that I love my friends.
I love Thomas so dearly... I don't think there will ever be such a being as him, such a friend as him who I will be able to relate to as well as him. He's so much like me at times is absolutely scares me half to death. But I love him unconditionally, anyhow. And I know that he and I will always have our promise made to each other, kept. He's amazing.
Well, I'm going to prove you wrong. I promise.
I love Mari so, so much. She's been my sister in both the good and bad sense. We've fought like sisters, but loved each other like sisters. She's one amazing lady, who is selfless beyond compare. She's gotten me far... Been my crutch, and lifeline.. She's listened when I thought no one was. She's absolutely beautiful, has a beautiful spirit, and has the best intentions for everyone. You are, what you are. You're beautiful Mari. Don't you ever forget that.
Don't look at me like that! SHUTUP!
I love MY Jessica Scott. Yes, she's mine, so back off people! I think I am most protective over Jessica. I would give up all the opportunities of happiness set before me, if I could hand them over to her. I love this girl because she makes me laugh. And that... That's priceless. She's a beauty beyond compare, and she has so much in store for her.. And I can't wait to see her reap the rewards of the good life she's sown.
Follow the butterflies, follow the butterflies! WEEEEE!!! La la la la la!
I love David Andrew. He is the epitome of... well, there's no word to describe this young man. He's been so very forgiving of me, and my shortcomings, and I am forever in his debt for such. I want the very best for this young man, along with everyone else. But especially this young man. He's got so much to offer this world, and I can only hope and pray that this world returns him the favor by giving him the love, support, and appreciation he absolutely, wholeheartedly, deserves.
Natalia. You are weird.
I love myself a Heather Scott. I love this girl and her personality. She's such a nice breath of fresh air. She has so much to grow on, and to become. She's going to be one fantastic young woman. And I can't wait to see what lucky guy gets her, along with my other girls. She's so very spirited. She is absolutely hilarious, and gives me what I dish her, right back. She's a fighter, and doesn't take crap from anyone. She would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings. Well, that's a lie... *wink* She's wonderful, none the less. And I am so excited to see who she becomes.
"It's hard. Ya know?" "Yeah well Heather. I'm 18, and I'm still clueless. Age does NOTHING to improve your knowledge."
I love Angela Scott. She is one of the funniest ladies I know. She's been such a great mom to me, even better than my REAL one (Sorry mom!). She's supported me, and heeded the Lord's council. She's an amazing example, and is so diligent in doing what is best for her, and her family. She's so wise, and beautiful... I really do hope to be like her when I grow up.
If the spark isn't there from the start, why are you dating him? That's what I think about relationships.
I love the Lord. He's given me best friends.. and a life that I looked at from a point of view tonight. And I thought "You know.. I love my life. Because I have at least ONE person who I can talk to when in need, aside from the Lord. Someone who I can relate to.". He's given me so much... SO,SO much.. And he's so patient, and unwavering in his love towards me, and those around me. I love him for giving me the life I have, and blessing me with who and what I have. He's absolutely wonderful. And he brings me so much happiness.. Whether it be straight from him, or through those around me. He is SO good!! How lucky am I to have him in my every day life?! Seriously.
18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18
I also have been blessed with one of my newest and most random of friends.. who I am truly grateful for. Brenton. He reminds me of me. But.. of course, not in a girly sense. He's so very smart, thinks too much, and doesn't quite know how to get out what he wants to say, or who to let it out to. I'm very grateful. He's been a great random event in my life. Thanks Brenton, for the 6am conversations.
The Lord is too good to me sometimes.. And I love him so tremendously for it. My gratitude is so abundant, I can hardly stand to keep it to myself! Thanks for helping me along this journey. Thank the Lord for your blessings. And thank yourself for being where you are today. YOU made the choices that have gotten you to where you are.
Sure do love you all!
43 O Lord, we delight not in the destruction of our fellow men; their asouls are precious before thee;
1 To seal the testimony of this book and the Book of Mormon, we announce the martyrdom of Joseph Smith the Prophet, and Hyrum Smith the Patriarch. They were shot in Carthage jail, on the 27th of June, 1844, about five o’clock p.m., by an armed mob—painted black—of from 150 to 200 persons. Hyrum was shot first and fell calmly, exclaiming: I am a dead man! Joseph leaped from the window, and was shot dead in the attempt, exclaiming: O Lord my God! They were both shot after they were dead, in a brutal manner, and both received four balls.
3 Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it. In the short space of twenty years, he has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord’s anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has his brother Hyrum. In life they were not divided, and in death they were not separated
6 Hyrum Smith was forty-four years old in February, 1844, and Joseph Smith was thirty-eight in December, 1843; and henceforward their names will be classed among the martyrs of religion; and the reader in every nation will be reminded that the Book of Mormon, and this book of Doctrine and Covenants of the church, cost the best blood of the nineteenth century to bring them forth for the salvation of a ruined world; and that if the fire can scathe a green tree for the glory of God, how easy it will burn up the dry trees to purify the vineyard of corruption. They lived for glory; they died for glory; and glory is their eternal reward. From age to age shall their names go down to posterity as gems for the sanctified.
I love Thomas so dearly... I don't think there will ever be such a being as him, such a friend as him who I will be able to relate to as well as him. He's so much like me at times is absolutely scares me half to death. But I love him unconditionally, anyhow. And I know that he and I will always have our promise made to each other, kept. He's amazing.
Well, I'm going to prove you wrong. I promise.
I love Mari so, so much. She's been my sister in both the good and bad sense. We've fought like sisters, but loved each other like sisters. She's one amazing lady, who is selfless beyond compare. She's gotten me far... Been my crutch, and lifeline.. She's listened when I thought no one was. She's absolutely beautiful, has a beautiful spirit, and has the best intentions for everyone. You are, what you are. You're beautiful Mari. Don't you ever forget that.
Don't look at me like that! SHUTUP!
I love MY Jessica Scott. Yes, she's mine, so back off people! I think I am most protective over Jessica. I would give up all the opportunities of happiness set before me, if I could hand them over to her. I love this girl because she makes me laugh. And that... That's priceless. She's a beauty beyond compare, and she has so much in store for her.. And I can't wait to see her reap the rewards of the good life she's sown.
Follow the butterflies, follow the butterflies! WEEEEE!!! La la la la la!
I love David Andrew. He is the epitome of... well, there's no word to describe this young man. He's been so very forgiving of me, and my shortcomings, and I am forever in his debt for such. I want the very best for this young man, along with everyone else. But especially this young man. He's got so much to offer this world, and I can only hope and pray that this world returns him the favor by giving him the love, support, and appreciation he absolutely, wholeheartedly, deserves.
Natalia. You are weird.
I love myself a Heather Scott. I love this girl and her personality. She's such a nice breath of fresh air. She has so much to grow on, and to become. She's going to be one fantastic young woman. And I can't wait to see what lucky guy gets her, along with my other girls. She's so very spirited. She is absolutely hilarious, and gives me what I dish her, right back. She's a fighter, and doesn't take crap from anyone. She would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings. Well, that's a lie... *wink* She's wonderful, none the less. And I am so excited to see who she becomes.
"It's hard. Ya know?" "Yeah well Heather. I'm 18, and I'm still clueless. Age does NOTHING to improve your knowledge."
I love Angela Scott. She is one of the funniest ladies I know. She's been such a great mom to me, even better than my REAL one (Sorry mom!). She's supported me, and heeded the Lord's council. She's an amazing example, and is so diligent in doing what is best for her, and her family. She's so wise, and beautiful... I really do hope to be like her when I grow up.
If the spark isn't there from the start, why are you dating him? That's what I think about relationships.
I love the Lord. He's given me best friends.. and a life that I looked at from a point of view tonight. And I thought "You know.. I love my life. Because I have at least ONE person who I can talk to when in need, aside from the Lord. Someone who I can relate to.". He's given me so much... SO,SO much.. And he's so patient, and unwavering in his love towards me, and those around me. I love him for giving me the life I have, and blessing me with who and what I have. He's absolutely wonderful. And he brings me so much happiness.. Whether it be straight from him, or through those around me. He is SO good!! How lucky am I to have him in my every day life?! Seriously.
18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18
I also have been blessed with one of my newest and most random of friends.. who I am truly grateful for. Brenton. He reminds me of me. But.. of course, not in a girly sense. He's so very smart, thinks too much, and doesn't quite know how to get out what he wants to say, or who to let it out to. I'm very grateful. He's been a great random event in my life. Thanks Brenton, for the 6am conversations.
The Lord is too good to me sometimes.. And I love him so tremendously for it. My gratitude is so abundant, I can hardly stand to keep it to myself! Thanks for helping me along this journey. Thank the Lord for your blessings. And thank yourself for being where you are today. YOU made the choices that have gotten you to where you are.
Sure do love you all!
43 O Lord, we delight not in the destruction of our fellow men; their asouls are precious before thee;
1 To seal the testimony of this book and the Book of Mormon, we announce the martyrdom of Joseph Smith the Prophet, and Hyrum Smith the Patriarch. They were shot in Carthage jail, on the 27th of June, 1844, about five o’clock p.m., by an armed mob—painted black—of from 150 to 200 persons. Hyrum was shot first and fell calmly, exclaiming: I am a dead man! Joseph leaped from the window, and was shot dead in the attempt, exclaiming: O Lord my God! They were both shot after they were dead, in a brutal manner, and both received four balls.
3 Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it. In the short space of twenty years, he has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord’s anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has his brother Hyrum. In life they were not divided, and in death they were not separated
6 Hyrum Smith was forty-four years old in February, 1844, and Joseph Smith was thirty-eight in December, 1843; and henceforward their names will be classed among the martyrs of religion; and the reader in every nation will be reminded that the Book of Mormon, and this book of Doctrine and Covenants of the church, cost the best blood of the nineteenth century to bring them forth for the salvation of a ruined world; and that if the fire can scathe a green tree for the glory of God, how easy it will burn up the dry trees to purify the vineyard of corruption. They lived for glory; they died for glory; and glory is their eternal reward. From age to age shall their names go down to posterity as gems for the sanctified.
Walk a little taller
I've noticed a little trend lately... Girls tend to try to get away with the whole getting a nose piercing, or having a life where it leads them to unwanted circumstances. Or even girls who just live like they can do whatever they want, dress immodestly, swear, drink, smoke, and other such things. It amazes me though... how they quickly change when their generation of young men, return from their missions. It's stooping a little low when you change just for that. It's great that these RM's are causing such change in Young Women, but Young Women... Don't you think they deserve a little better? Shouldn't you be making yourself better, living a life around the church and it's teachings? I'm not saying be so into the whole standards and gospel that you feel the need to enforce them upon others. Because by no means, am I forcing anything on anyone. I'm just surprised that so many young men that I know are falling short of what they truly want. You cannot change for a guy, trust me. And a guy won't change for you. Stand a little taller, and be an example.
I by no means am claiming I'm perfect, or any of that... But I don't seem to have ever found the guts to actually go out in public with just a tank top on, or have I ever just started swearing, or drinking because it's cool... I haven't even tried a cigarette. I just wonder what goes through the mind of one of these Young Lady's who isn't like myself.
I've been thinking a lot about it lately... For so long, I was a geek. The, not so pretty, acne victim, with geeky hippie hair, and I wore no makeup. But I never got down on myself about it, until now. I was happy. I did what I was suppose to, even after having my sisters laugh in my face, and friends making fun of me (not much of good friends, sadly). I went my 16th and 17th birthday's single. Well, except for 3 months, but that really... will never count. You know... technically speaking, Robert was my first boyfriend. I promised the Lord when I was 16 (after my stupid 3 month deal) that I would wait until I was 18 to date. Even when I was 18, I had never had my first kiss.. Never been kissed before. To me, that was a great accomplishment. Especially since when I hit about age 17 I actually started taking care of myself, and how I looked. I promised the Lord, and he blessed me. The day after my 18th birthday, was Robert's. I met him in Nauvoo solely because it was his birthday. If it hadn't of been his birthday, we probably would have never met. Even with Robert, I kept my standards quite high. He, of course, gave me my first kiss... And he gave me a few wonderful months of being in a relationship. I think what made it the best was... that I didn't feel ashamed for being in a relationship with a guy as great as him. And that's something I'll always do. I'll make sure to keep myself as far from what I know will hurt me in the long run, just so that I don't ever regret. I'd hate to look back and think "I could have done better.."
So to all who think it's a little ok to slip here and there... Remember to walk a little taller.
"9 For they were set to be a alight unto the world, and to be the saviors of men;
10 And inasmuch as they are not the saviors of men, they are as salt that has lost its savor, and is thenceforth good for nothing but to be cast out and trodden under foot of men."
D&C 103:9-10
"10 I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."
D&C 82:10
"Life is what happens to you while you’re working for your future."
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
You cannot always be torn in two
We tend to get so caught up in life that we forget to live it. We're so distraught on what hasn't happened, that we choose to be blind to that which has.
Never have I realized so deeply, how truly blessed I am for the friends I have been blessed with... and also for the knowledge that I know I will meet more, who will be as much a blessing, too. That is... Until now.
Isaiah 52:13-53:6
"Behold, my servant will prosper, he will be high and lifted up, and greatly exalted. Just as many were astonished at you, my people, so his appearance was marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men. Thus he will sprinkle many nations, kings will shut their mouths on account of him; for what they had not been told them they will see, and what they had not heard they will understand.
Who has believed our message? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? For he grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of parched ground; he has no stately form or majesty that we should look upon him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to him. He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face, he was despised, and we did not esteem him. Surely our griefs he himself bore, and our sorrows he carried; yet we ourselves esteemed him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was pierced through for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon him, and by his scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on him. "
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
Henry Ford
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”
“Life is a series of experiences, each of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.”
Stick to your task till it sticks to you;
Beginners are many, but enders are few.
Honor, power, place, and praise
Will always come to the one who stays.
Stick to your task till it sticks to you;
Bend at it, sweat at it, smile at it too;
For out of the bend and the sweat and the smile
Will come life's victories, after awhile.
Author Unknown
Monday, January 12, 2009
Too good for resolutions
This new year has brought me so many blessings so far. I love how I've learned so much, had so many trials, but also gained so much; all in the last two weeks.
Finding happiness in everything isn't easy to do. I've discovered that you won't get far in anything if your own happiness is the only thing you worry about.
Finding happiness in everything isn't easy to do. I've discovered that you won't get far in anything if your own happiness is the only thing you worry about.
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